And somethings telling me it might be you all of my life..

PLEASE READ THESE TERMS:

[#o1] Welcome to my blog
[#o2] Do not rip anything off
[#o3] Live like you will die tomorrow
[#o4] Love like you have never been hurt before
[#o5] Follow your heart
[#o6] And remember to live life to the fullest
[#o7] Always be happy
[#o8] Follow all of the above cause Sandra says so

It Might Be You - Stephen Bishop

I am Cassandra Teresa Dias,

Another turning point - a fork stuck in the road
Time grabs you by the wrist - directs you where to go
So make the best of this test and don't ask why
It's not a question but a lesson learned in time
So take the photographs and still frames in your mind
Hang it on a shelf in good health and good time
Tattoos of memories and dead skin on trial
For what it's worth it was worth all the while
It's something unpredictable but in the end is right
I hope you had the time of your life
When our time is up,
when our lives are done,
will we say we've had our fun?
will we make a mark this time?
will we always say we tried?
all the love i have made,
i have no regrets,
it it all ends now,
i'm set...

I have no regrets

:D

myspace/hi5/friendster/msn
at askme@hotmail.com

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Tuesday, October 30, 2007

10:25 PM

If I Follow The Wrong Star....

And so the maths paper was difficult
I see the light of ITE
Ite, u get it??
I'm stupid
I surrender to this word call moe
I might be learning make up in the school of make up
Or beauty therapy in ITE
Those who wanna take the place of poly and jc
I won't vie with you
Anyway,i don't care
I think i just don't have the cuts for studying
And i'm serious
A person should have some limitations
So those who should go to jc,just go
Those who wishes to go poly,just go
And those who has to go ITE,just go
Its no use wearing a cap that is too big for your head
Anyway
I have a little secret with Huiling
I think we rawk
haha
Btw
The click 5 incident is super ridiculous
Everyone's gonna laugh at the school now
Glad it has gain some "fame"
I'm feeling a little evil now
Just wish to show my evilness
Muhahahaha
Got to go folks
7 days to freedom!!!
Yay!!!

I used to think that i had the answer to everything but now i know that life doesnt always go my way...

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Saturday, October 27, 2007

10:38 PM

My Baby Love.....

Blacky,spidy and micky

ok...

So yesterday,met up with steff and jessie for lunch

And we saw xiu wen and lala

And she was asking us" arent you guys suppose to be at home studying?"

And i was thinking in my heart

No offence But

"Sorry,i'm not like you who forget the whole world when it comes to exam"

"So what its the os?"

"Can't we even meet up for lunch?"

Really love steff and jessie's company

We bought a little toy to hang around our phone

Mine is called blacky,jessie and steff

This is the 1st time i felt close to them

Its like even since i had new friends,

I neglected and forgotten them

I will be posting the pics up

So met up with darling at bedok today

Went to long john silver for a chit chat session

Headed for chicken rice

And we were discussing about our future house

I said i wanted a bathtub

And then he told me"What has it got to do with me?"

And then he told me he wants a condo

and i was like wooooo...

And then i told him that i like those family where the wife cook for the family and have breakfast together before heading to work or school

And then later he say"me oso!!!"

"So the wife must cook leh!! the wife must cook leh..you must cook leh"

Then i was like"ok?"

I'm glad we have the same goals for our future

I know we are thinking too far

But no harm thinking right?

Haha

He keep calling me lao auntie la

I look like auntie meh?

And then we talked about the colours of the room we wanted and stuff

Then

Went shopping around

You know what?

Shopping with him is hell

He's worst than a girl

I think i have lost my shopping queen title

haha

Then we headed to the library

We felt like sleeping there la

So many people

We did some quizzes together on some mag

Then we went to pizza hut

My brother served us

We ate till we were so full

So we played scissors paper stones

The loser had to finish their remaining pizza

And so i was the loser

I think we were laughing so loud that everyone was looking at us

And my brother treat us

Vincent was like"cannot,i must pay"

So he gave me the money to hand it to him later

How i realise my little brother has grown up

Anyway

Thats it for today

Gonna meet jasmine tomorrow for maths help

Good luck folks on monday!!!

You are my baby love, my baby love,you make the sun come up,oh boy..you are everything i could ever dream of...

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Thursday, October 25, 2007

7:56 PM

Those Good Old Days

Today was geog paper
Yesterday was chemistry
Actually,they were alrite
I know i did my best so i'm not gonna feel bad
Its like 1 week and a few more days before this whole thing ends
I think i will miss everything
I will miss those good old days
There are just so many things i wanna do afters Os
Here's the list of them:

1. Get a job
2. Go for a full body massage
3. Shop for a photoframe to keep that sweet little picture of me and him
4.Book a resort and spend it with him
5.A family trip
6.Develop all my 1 zillion pictures
7.Learn the drums and guitar
8.Bake cake for those i owe
9.Call up those pals for a chit chat session over coffee
10.Party party party
11.Do some volunteer work
12.Join the church choir
13.Sit back and reminsce all those good old days
14.Lose weight
15.Capture my life with on video

Guess thats it,
i would not be adding shopping on my list....
There are many more interesting things waiting for me to do than shopping
Most importantly,
I think i won't have the time after working
But i just can't wait for this entire thing to be over
And then the last class gathering sadly will be on 6 nov which is the last paper and my 5th anniversary
Wow..that gotta be a good day man
Anyway
Till then
Jia you people!!!!

Cause i will miss the good old days where we just laugh and laugh all the day
Nothing beats the good old days

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Tuesday, October 23, 2007

10:45 PM

I Will Sing...

Lord You seem so far away
A million miles or more it feels today
And though I haven't lost my faith
I must confess right now
That it's hard for me to pray
But I don't know what to say
And I don't know where to start
But as You give the grace
With all that's in my heart
Chorus:
I will sing
I will praise
Even in my darkest hour
Through the sorrow and the pain
I will sing
I will praise
Lift my hands to honor You
Because Your Word is true
I will sing

Lord it's hard for me to see
All the thoughts and plans You have for me
But I will put my trust in You
Knowing that You died to set me free
But I don't know what to say
And I don't know where to start
But as You give grace
With all that's in my heart

Thank you lord for everything....

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Monday, October 22, 2007

10:14 PM

Cause I'm Going Crazy...

Ok
So i was talking to my darling mojo yesterday night
We were talking about us the motorist having a motorbike but cannot seem to start the engine..
Do you see the entire link?
Its something about not able to start studying
I think i'm gonna miss her
Its like she understands me la
How am i gonna find such friends?
I don't know how to face life in the future man
Its like we are so used with each other already
Ok...nvm
And so after putting down the phone with her
Darling called
We chatted about 2hrs??
I told him a little dumb joke about me
And he started laughing
And we laughed the whole night thru until 1am???
And i was getting rather tired but didnt tell him
So i tried to find an excuse to put down on him
But he kept saying that he wanted to talk longer to me
I mean i missed him
Its nice to know someone cares for you
We talked about many things..
He's so cute..
Looking at us makes me wanna laugh
We look so mismatched,
don't you think so?
He has this 2 big projects so won't be talking to him tonight
He also understands that i need to study
This post is gonna be a long one
Cause i'm feeling my usual emo again
My brother says i can be the queen of emo already
Haha
Anyway,
Talked to Jessie on the phone today
We were discussing our we think we can't make it to poly and our after plans
I'm glad that she's not like others who think that we think negatively
I mean they are smart la
Who doesnt want to be smart la?
I wish i was smart too
I studied organic chem today la
And the worse part was the 2 smart boys were at tuition today also
And they were like shooting the answers out
And i just sit there stupidly
Thinking to myself" Sandra,didnt u study all that just now at home?"
And i totally forgot everything
Trish gave us a worksheet
You know what??
The more i did
The more fucked up i felt
I just felt like tearing the blardee paper and tell her" I Quit"
Tears were on the verge of dripping
She says she's worried for the 2 boys
Then she must be more worried for me la
I hate being such a loser you know
I mean what if i really cannot make it?
Is ITE the only option??
Well...forget it..
Anyway,
Its the last lap already
I'm screaming"oh my,its really the last lap,I'm not dreaming right?"
Actually
This period is the period to see who my true friends are
Now is the time where we need to support each other
But i can't blame those who are just eagerly trying to get rid of you cause they wanna study
But..
I don't know
Gotta go then
Needa study!!
Jia You

Because mummy always tell me"time waits for no man"

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Sunday, October 21, 2007

10:59 AM

Stupid Moodswings.....

Ok..
so let's get things straight
O levels are like 3 days away??
I cannot stand it
I can't believe i'm not even panicking
I'm slacking still for christ's sake
I cannot stand myself
I'm just incorrigible
Scold me all you want
Now i know why a leopard never changes its spots
And to add that
my DAMN FUCKING MOODSWINGS
It almost killing and pissing darling
But i'm glad he understands that we are under stress
I mean it all runs in the Dias family
We are just a bunch of heaven made slackers la..
Cannot help what
We are the top for partying
But also top from the bottom for results
I cannot seem to see the importance of studies
I know everyone say is important
But i can't seem to see
I hate people to force me to do things i do not like
And i refuse to believe that i'm not stupid
But i feel i am
Can you see how fucked up i feel
The worst part is that it all lies in my hand
I mean if i don't make it then don't make it la
The whole class except me so damn smart la
I think i'm facing an identity crisis
I know what i want
But i dont wanna be holding on to unecessary things just because they are good for me
I mean what's the point?
Then wouldnt life be miserable?
Just leave me alone la...
Those moodswings,nightmares and emoness...
Wouldnt you let me off please?

Somethings we know we will never do but they will always be right...

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Friday, October 19, 2007

12:17 PM

I'm just a kid with no ambitions....

My stupid handphone is spoilt
The line is dead la..
Stephanie said it sounded like my heartbeat has stopped
Maybe she's right
Perhaps its a good thing for the phone to be spoilt
I'm feeling rather...rather ..depressed again
O levels are like in 6 days?
But i'm not even panicking yet
I think i can be prepared to fail
I mean,seriously...
i don't think i can do it
I'm stressed
And stupid phone had to die on me
Oh well,
I miss darling
Won't be meeting him this week
Hais...
I feel so stupid
I'm like suppose to go and fix and phone at parkway la...
But look at the damn rain
How am i gonna repair?
I even thought of going to the beach to study
But guess now,
My plans are ruined
ARGH...
I don't need to get a well-paid job
I don't need to be someone big
I just wanna live life simply and happily with the ones i love
I don't see the fuck why i even need to get a cert
I know,in other peoples eyes,without a cert,i'll be stupid
But perhaps,
I'm just a kid with no ambitions!!!

Cause I will thug it out till i get it right...

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Thursday, October 11, 2007

6:06 PM

God, Save Me

Ok...
Today's sort of the last day of school
Cause i believe not everyone will turn up for founder's day tmr
Time flies...
I'm serious
I can't believe 5 yrs just pass like this
Don't worry
I'll be better after vomiting out those undigested and unhealthy feelings
I don't know why
But I'm getting cynical
I realise i'm more of a dreamer than a practical person
I don't understand how people can take changes?
Can any one suggest on this?
I don't understand why i get so worked up and stuff
Maybe because i'm on the pill
and it gives me mood swings
I can't stop thinking
O levels round the corner i know
But I really have no confidence
I'm feeling fucked up
It feels like crap
As i was observing the people
I realise how everyone has changed including me obviously
Poor mummy has to listen to my story tonight
I need to talk
I just can't seem to find the right person
And its not the right time
Who will be so sacrificial to sacrifice their time and listen?
I know darling will
But he won't understand
Hais...
Its getting on my nerves
I'm stressed
God, save me please?

I dream of a day where i can just be lying on the grass, admiring the clouds without any worries

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Wednesday, October 10, 2007

12:20 PM

Walking Disaster

Ok....
Didnt go to school today again
but tmr i have to
Mrs lee will be talking to us..
Her talks are always boring la
No choice
Having tuition later at 1.30pm
Doing biology
Kind of have problem memorising the facts
We will also be collecting our report books tmr
I'm obviously the 2nd last in class again
Well,guess i have to study doubly hard
I don't know whether i'll make it
But i will do my best
To tell you the truth,
I have no confidence at all
Gotta start study humans later
So i will be starting on geo since its the 2nd paper
Seriously,can't wait for the entire exam to end
Darling's so cute
He's so naggy
Keep reminding me to eat my medicine
Never seen such a naggy boyfriend before
Haha..
its my fortune to have such a caring boyfriend
Been finding some verses for him
Hope he will say yes
haha
Anyway
Wanna take a short nap now
Got to go folks
Jia you ok??

I don't believe i cannot make it, i refuse to believe the fact that i cannot make it..
This might sound crazy, but i must make it !!!

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Monday, October 08, 2007

6:51 PM

Cassandra Dias Says Can

I realised all these years
I've been saying i can't to many things
The very good example was N levels
I was even prepared to fail
I got ready all my goodbye messages and gifts even
But I did make it
My 2nd example was me and him
I thought we were impossible
So after confessing to him
I told myself" There's it,there's the end of my friendship with him"
In the end,
We became an item
All these only goes to show one thing
That nothing is impossible
I guessing saying i cannot seems the easy way out ah?
It will save all the disappointments and troubles...
But I'm tired of saying i cannot
Its time i say CAN
Everytime,i close my eyes
The thought of my favourite course keep appearing in my mind
Its egging me on
I know it is
Somehow,many things may be impossible
But the very fact that God died on the cross for us already proved everything wrong
I really hope to do well
I'll be bringing him to church on saturday
I know its for his project
But isnt it a very big sign that God is working in his own way??
I believe God will continue to create miracles
I have been talking to him every night
He has been giving me lots of support
I seriously hope darling will enjoy his experience in there
I will pray for the day he changes his mind
Life's really funny la...
I can do it
I must do it
I will do it
Jia you jia you

No one else can make me feel the colours that you bring....

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Sunday, October 07, 2007

10:46 PM

Screaming Hallelujiah

Screaming Hallelujiah!!!
Time really flies...
Tomorrow's the last week of school
How fast ah??
Cannot believe spending 5 yrs in that school
With friends which lasted me 1/4 of my life
How i will miss them
how i will miss the fun we had
Well
I'm smiling
I'm thanking God for bringing them into my life
Though life wasnt really fantastic
But it only prove one thing to me
And that is " God has a reason for everything"
I know when i leave the sheltering walls of pl,
The memories will be kept in my heart
I believe,without the school
I won't be the person today
Thats why i said God is great
I miss my darling..
How i realised we must treasure what we have now cause we don't know when we will lose them
I suddenly feel like baking a cake for the class
cannot wait to see their smiles on their faces
C'mon la...5 yrs leh!!!
5 yrs is a long time to me...
just like what 3 months could do for me and him
Yes...i finally grown up
U hope i will do well in os...
I wanna be the 2nd Dias to go to poly
I shall make everyone proud of me
Thanks guys for making me who i am
Loving me and accepting me for who i am
Lastly..thanks God for everything
Got to go folks
Won't be going school tmr
Gotta do more papers on my own
Chaoz!!

Don't leave me tonight, don't tell me i will make it on my own

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Saturday, October 06, 2007

9:49 AM

Can't Let Those Eyes See The End

Ok...
I have been very sick
So heven been going to school for the past 3 days
I oso heven that very few people went
but darling say only the few people who went for considered the clever people
What do you think?
I didnt really agree
Cause i did around a total of 5 papers during my sick period
yesterday,darling came over
Cause my whole body was aching and i wasn't well
He was so sweet
He asked me what i want to eat
I said i want to eat century egg porridge
but he say don't have
so in the end
he bought wanton mee soup for me
knowing that i had craving for the new kfc hot drumlets
he also bought them for me..
And he was singing some chinese songs to me la...
And then i was like thinking"wasn't my boyfriend suppose to be a rocker?"
And i start laughing to myself
Well, life is funny
Or should i say unpredictable?
You know what?
God is great la
there's a chance that he might be christian
I'm really hoping that will happen
Today is our 4th month..
So fast man
Talking about time
it really cannot beat the fact that i have only 2 weeks for o levels
I'm so scared
Kept asking him"what if i can't make it"
And obviously he said he believe i can make it
Well, gotta do more papers later
My throat is killing me
And there is this irritating person who's scolding my huiling on her blog la...
I mean how can there still be childish people
If you are reading which i don't think you are
I know the person who tagged annoymously is you la....
But i already said,i will pray for you
Prayer is the best form of healing
well
got to go folks
My textbooks are waiting for me to kiss them
haha....
Till then
Jia you!!!

This time,i'm not giving up we've got to make it last forever

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Wednesday, October 03, 2007

7:23 PM

In A Bad Shape

O levels coming in like 21 days??
I'm down with a temperature of 38.5
And so i have two days mc..
Its better than going to school and wasting my time la
At least,i did bio and maths today
My head's spinning la
Today, stephanie was so sweet
She wanted to come up to give me my homework
But i felt bad about that
so i went down insteaed
when she handed me the pile of worksheets
I got a shock of my life
But i soon started on the maths paper 1
You know what
I was reading Today's paper
The MOE has changed its education system
From next year onwards,
People with less than 19pts for maths,eng and 3 other subjects for N level can only proceed to sec 5
Their reason was: it is simple going up to sec 5 but only 60% can make it to poly
I was like"what the hell"
Is the Governement trying to kill us?
But luckily i'm out of it
But what they said is true la
Talking about poly,
I really wanna make it to there
I don't believe i'm stupid
Perhaps just lazy
well well well
I shall just do my best and God will do the rest
If its meant to be,then its meant to be
Ok guys, gotta study now..
Jia you!!!

Loving you has made my life so beautiful

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Monday, October 01, 2007

6:47 PM

Emotionally Unstable

O levels is in 24 days
I'm scared
My best friend's here
Been having serious mood swings
that i'm crying for no rythm of reason
I'm feeling stress
What if i don't do well??
I miss him
Heven been able to sleep well,eat well..
I feel so stress and emo
Hate my best friend
Never fails to make me depressed
I feel so fucked up too
I know its on 6plus
but i'm gonna sleep

But i get my hopes up and i watch them fall everytime
Hate to watch it fade away...