And somethings telling me it might be you all of my life..

PLEASE READ THESE TERMS:

[#o1] Welcome to my blog
[#o2] Do not rip anything off
[#o3] Live like you will die tomorrow
[#o4] Love like you have never been hurt before
[#o5] Follow your heart
[#o6] And remember to live life to the fullest
[#o7] Always be happy
[#o8] Follow all of the above cause Sandra says so

It Might Be You - Stephen Bishop

I am Cassandra Teresa Dias,

Another turning point - a fork stuck in the road
Time grabs you by the wrist - directs you where to go
So make the best of this test and don't ask why
It's not a question but a lesson learned in time
So take the photographs and still frames in your mind
Hang it on a shelf in good health and good time
Tattoos of memories and dead skin on trial
For what it's worth it was worth all the while
It's something unpredictable but in the end is right
I hope you had the time of your life
When our time is up,
when our lives are done,
will we say we've had our fun?
will we make a mark this time?
will we always say we tried?
all the love i have made,
i have no regrets,
it it all ends now,
i'm set...

I have no regrets

:D

myspace/hi5/friendster/msn
at askme@hotmail.com

Y UPDATES Y

Saturday, September 29, 2007

10:05 PM

Bonded....

Had funfair today
It was rather fun
but a little draggy too
our class sold mini melts
and surprisingly,
it was all sold out
well,i'm beginning to miss the class
I remember the last funfair being 4 yrs ago
oh,time really flies
This is my favourite line
We had our own class shirt
and i really felt bonded yesterday and today
Its like though we don't like some people here and there
but we have learn the art of giving and sharing
I'm proud of the class
We have all matured
Well done guys
5A2 rawks man!!
haha
I did henna together with huiling,michy and mojo
so nice!!!
Played fun games with mojo,huimin and hilda
It sads that we have to graduate but life is such
I miss him
He's sick...
I hope he's alrite=)
Come back to topic..
but i believe the memories will all remain
Had steamboat with aunty christine and family today
Nice talking to them
How i miss them!!
Well
I'm gonna have to give tmr's gathering a miss cause i need to study
Sandra,jia you!!!
Overall, it was a fun and memorable day=)

Cause its not about the results,its about the process....

Y UPDATES Y

Thursday, September 27, 2007

9:39 PM

Cause You See Me Thru The Seasons....

Funfair's in 2 days time
It will be our last fun fair
Sad sad sad
I thought about it
Its not that i want to be negative
but i might not get into poly
so i shan't force anything
but i will still do my best
cause I can do anything thru Christ who strengthens me
Contradicting again la....
Anyway
It was a tiring day today
Had lessons until 3.30 and i had tuition until 5.50pm
Came home and talked to him
How i miss him
Won't be meeting him until next friday
I miss you....
Had a heart to heart talk with mummy again
I love our little talks
I was complaining about how time really flies
and she was like"girl, rmb,time waits for no man"
And i was like"i can't accept it"
haha...
life's funny
At one stage,you can be complaining how time pass so slowly
at another,how fast time is passing
Well
Humans will never be satisfied
shit la...
I'm really feeling emo
1 month more to O level
Jia you people!!
We are the mini-melters

You are forever in my life,You see me thru the seasons,I'll sing to you lord a hymn of love for your faithfulness to me...

Y UPDATES Y

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

1:46 PM

I'm Going Crazy

Tell me what's wrong with society??
why is there a need to get a cert?
Just got back my prelims results
and they are like crap
I studied
I really studied
compared to those who didnt,
my results are still not as good as them
what is this f**king world coming to?
Life's really not fair
I'm going crazy
It doesnt make sense
it really doesnt
This didnt really matter much to me in the past
but now it do
Its making me feel damn lousy
Am i damn lousy?
I feel so fed up
I mean i really do
I mean though my brother cannot study but he can play the damn drums and guitar
and what about me??
I can't even do anything well
My priorities are all screwed up
but everyone has different priorities
why is this world made that we have to follow each other?
I'm just a kid
oh..self deceiving cassandra!!!
i wanna be a kid
I think i really needa doctor
heven been going out alot too
Really don't have the mood la
I just wanna coop myself in the room
I think somehow,the emo world suits me
I'm so tired
I know i shouldnt give up
but c'mon la...
face it
no point pushing it
its like what will be will be
I think i'm crazy
maybe i am
I can't accept the fact that people who didnt studied got higher marks than me
I know
maybe they are just smarter than me
I'm so tired
I feel like giving up...

Sometimes, the more you hope,the greater the disappointment.....

Y UPDATES Y

Friday, September 21, 2007

11:51 PM

I Keep On Thinking Its Not Goodbye

Gave the brownie i baked for them today
Really love to see the smile on their face when they eat it
Anyway,
we had career quest today
The coach Shaun was funny
but no comments about it
I'm an Advisor
The workshop was pretty alrite except for the parts where wrote our big name on a piece of paper
With the song Graduation as background music
we had to go around writing wishes to our friend
as i was writing for stephanie
i started crying again
I'm really hopeless
yesterday was the 3rd day i cried already
So after that
i decided to go home to sleep
watched the 7pm last episode
so sweet!!
feel like getting married also
after that,went to j8 wif xiu wen
went shopping and chatted
And then i met the irritating taxi driver
he kept saying i was blur
oh well,
what an interesting life i have right?

When we look back nowWill our jokes still be funny? Will we still remember everything we learned in school?

Y UPDATES Y

Thursday, September 20, 2007

3:57 PM

Many Things I Understand

Life?
what is life all about?
I finally understand what it means when you say ren sheng duan duan ji shi nian
i'm not old
but i really feel life is short
time really passes very quickly
but i do admit,
i have learn many things thru out my 17 years
learnt what is failure all about
that actually without it,
i wouldnt be stronger now
learn what are true friends about
they are people who though could not be with you 24/7
but definitely supported you all the way mentally
I'm not hating life
I used to
but not now
I have just found the love of my life
I still wanna experience more
life is full of ups and downs
i fully understand this term now
its saddening to know that i only have 2 months to spend with my friends
but my mum always tell me
"if the old don't go,the new won't come"
I'm not saying i will forget the old friends
but maybe the best is yet to come
I didnt really enjoyed secondary life
hated it
but now i think i miss it
its feels terrible to miss something
its like you know you might lose them any moment
how i wish things didnt have to change
but we all have to face the fact
we all have our own dreams and roads
at least
when i look back
i know i will smile=)

I'm not being emo, i'm setting aside time to clear a little space in the corner of my mind ...

Y UPDATES Y

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

8:10 PM

I'm Feeling Sentimental!!

Yay,today is the last day of prelims...

feeling both sad and happy..

happy that its finally over

sad cause it means we are closer to separating

well well well...

went to the beach with baby today

as i stepped upon it

i knew i would feel emo

as soon as i knew it

i already did

as baby was playing dinner dash on my phone in the shelter

i left to sit by myself

memories started flooding in my head

memories of us cycling and rollerblading

taking crazy group photos

celebrating michelle's and pei qing's birthdays

eating and eating

those were the good old days

where we had no worries

we really loved each other company

as i thought of that

i laughed

cause i thought of all the crazy acts we had

i also smiled

It was to thank god for those wonderful times

and i almost wanted to cry

cause now things have changed

i really miss them

i used to go to the beach alone in the beginning

and then with them

and now??

I'm with him

at that moment

i just wanted to breakdown

and really hope he could give me a hug

but later he came over and asked me what's wrong?

but didnt want to tell him the whole truth

so i kept it to myself

and said" i'm ok"

i realised one thing about me

i seem to be living in the past

i can't seem to move forward

but its really the memories that kept me going till now

its like we really don't know what we have till its gone

life's just so funny

why do we only realise this when we lose a certain thing or person??

well...

all i can say is there's a reason for everything

i really can't believe i'm leaving secondary school in like 2 months??

2 months seems long way more

but face it,

i know 2 months will come very quickly

sometimes i really hate life

its like we are running in a race against time

i really miss those mahjong sessions,spaghetti sessions and cycling sessions

thank you people for making my world a more beautiful one

oh shit

i'm crying

i cannot control

but reality is harsh

i wanna turn back time

i wish i had the ability to=)

Cause life is a road and a wonderful journey

i wanna stand at the beginning with you

thank you for this beautiful journey

you have sailed me thru

Y UPDATES Y

Sunday, September 16, 2007

9:42 PM

Indescribable

Yay, school ends early tomorrow
I'm so elated
I have been studying for fnn
I feel so happy
I think i'm mad
You know why?
Cause my best friend's gone
You know what
I can't believe I have wasted 2 years of my past life feeling depressed
Its stupid
Went to Popo's house today
ate lunch there
I rememeber playing mahjong with her when i was a kid
afterall,she was the one who took care of me when i was a baby
I wanna be a grandmother!!!
So fun!!
but i don't wanna be a mother
And then popo say" you siao ah?"
"Don't want be mother,how to be grandmother?"
Then I laughed..
Went to church again
And i saw Jonathan
My mum say he's ugly
And i'm glad i got Vincent
haha..
I can't believe I have grown up so much
I can't believe I have changed so much
I can't believe I leaving my secondary school in like 2 months?
I can't believe time flies?
I can't believe God loves me so much
I can't believe I have such a wonder family
I can't believe I have such supportive friends thruout my life
Lastly
I can't believe I have such a doting boyfriend
It took me like on whole day to realise how lucky i have been
Showered with lots of love
I'm not being emo here,
but seriously,
If i were to die now,
I will have no regrets!
Thank you everyone for loving Cassandra Dias when she was unbearable,irritating and unlovable
She's grateful!!
This feeling is simply indescribable!!

Indescribable,uncontainable,you place the stars in the sky and you know my name

Y UPDATES Y

Saturday, September 15, 2007

1:11 PM

Life Changes...

When i was born into this world
everything seem to be in a blur
i made my first cry
which made my parents smile
had no idea what was life about

As a primary school kid,
i was shy
i was round too
i had good results
often hoped to be a class monitress
didnt bother about appearance
learnt what menses was all about
memories didnt matter
love didnt matter
food was all that mattered

when i enter secondary school
i thought i was mature
i thought i was an adult
felt how it was like crushing a girl
had all the fun i wanted
had all the friends i needed
started taking things for granted
problems later surfaced
parents issue arised
learn what looking good was all about
saw who my "true friends" were
we shared,we cried,we loved
we couldnt wait to grow up
couldnt wait to be an adult
had fantasties of what we wanted to be in the future
couldnt wait to get out of the damn secondary school
good results didnt matter
hated the uniform
hated the talks by principal
often didnt do homework
had punishments together
fashion and popularity were the answer to being cool
we soon became hypocrites
we lose our identity
always acting like we were someone else
had the taste of failure and pain
became depressed
life was screwed up
learn the difference of a friend and a true friend
a true friend was someone who could be there thick and thin
a crybaby was all i could be
learnt the lesson of not taking anything for granted
learnt what was it like to stand up on my own
thought love was bullshit
had the chance of getting a tattoo
I had clique
changed cliques
had conflicts
learn from mistakes
i grew
experienced what it was like working
experienced butterflies in my stomach
experience the taste of being in love
experience what its like to kiss
It was like God's plan
changed to a better person
maturity and reality took me one level higher
time is passing so fast
I'm now taking the most important exam of my life
Oh!! how i want to stay as a teenager!!

Time ah time,if only you could wait for me...

Y UPDATES Y

Friday, September 14, 2007

8:19 PM

Moody Mood....

Finally,1st week of prelims are gone

sadly,its the time of the month

i hate it

it makes me moody,depressed and all

but,i'm all right now

darling came over today,

we didnt do much

cause i was in a bad mood

feel so guity for always venting it on him

but luckily,he understands

he say he hates my best friend too..

haha...

thanks darling for being so understanding

actually...

the thought me losing someone over a minor problem really scares me

and i think it is stupid

so i shall control myself

my eyebags are showing..

time to go for facial

haha...

well..

cannot wait for menses to go

watching my 9pm show now

goodbye people

btw,i created a class collage

i think its nice!!

I don't know much but i know i love you.....

Y UPDATES Y

Thursday, September 13, 2007

1:02 PM

Sense Of Achievement???

Just came back from school,

been a good girl these few days studying

seeing the questions i studied come out is really a nice feeling

now i know what it feels like to study

been using the pens and correction he gave me,

it really gave me motivation

i'm so glad..

well,tomorrow is bio and maths paper

really need to chiong

yay!! he's coming over tmr...

miss him..

actually,

what i miss most is times spent with my friends

we seem to have our own thinking now

well..ytd we talked,

it has been 3 years since we last talked

i shall just leave it to god

So tired,

cause my best friend's here

I have decided on what to do on the last day of prelims

1stly,gonna shop for photoframes cause i wanna hang a pic of me and him on my wall

2nd,develop those pictures that is memorable

3rdly,go home and slowly slot those pictures into my album

4th,slowly admire and reflect on the photos

Well, thats what i'm gonna do

Just gonna spend it by myself

since its about me,

its my life

i shall just do it alone=)

I'm happy,

yes,i am..

Sandra's finally HAPPY!!!

All these while,I have been living with a shadow,been sleeping with a cloud above my head,I've been watching why the stars refuse to shine,there were moments when i didnt know if its real,i needed inspiration, not a negotiation, BUT.......

I have finally found my way into love=)

Y UPDATES Y

Monday, September 10, 2007

3:14 PM

Wakeup Call

Well, just ended the 1st paper of the first day of prelims,
well,there are 4 days more
won't be talking to him until friday,
but,don't worry,i can tahan one,
lit paper was alrite today
really hope i can score well
cause i love lit
i really want that A very badly
tmr is maths paper 1 and ss
i now see how badly i need to study for these 2 subjects
well,i shall do that in 10 mins time
Anyway
i'm in a bad mood
just feeling down
it feels horrible
guess menses coming
well,Cassandra won't give up so fast
She can make it
and she will...
got to chiong now..
JIA YOU PEOPLE!!

When the going gets tough,the tough goes shopping

Y UPDATES Y

Friday, September 07, 2007

12:35 PM

LOVE is......

Its a fri morning
wow...
time really flies
been spending the past 2 days with darling
that is perhaps why time flies
yestersday was a very emotional day
went to have breakfast with him at delifrance
we met in toa poayoh,our usual place
the place that holds memories...
cause it was our 3rd month!!
as i walk past giordano...
flashbacks really came back
everything in there has changed
but one thing for sure i know is the same
and that is the memories i had there while working
we both went in...
and..the feeling is so different
guess what?
Nana is pregnant
actually,we were suppose to go to the beach but
in the end,we watched 881
the show is so touching la..
LOVE is the word that touched me
i can now admit that love is a very powerful thing
cause now i'm in love
i can see myself having a 360 degrees change
after that
i watched stories of love
it was so sad and
i cried for the second time in the day
its like...
we keep thinking we have so much time to spend with our loved ones
but we don't know the uncertainty of life
and when we really wanna spend time with that person
its already too late cause the person might be gone.
so we gotta treasure what we have..
well..prelims are in 3 days time
to tell you the truth,
i'm scared
scared to death
last time, i wasnt cause i didnt bother
but now i'm scared
scared to see the disappointment on certain people's face
i really don't want them to be disappointed
life is funny!!!
all i can say is "without love,i will not be cassandra dias!"

Sometimes,all we need is faith..like taking the first step though you cannot see the whole staircase...what really matters is the faith in me and you..

Y UPDATES Y

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

9:15 AM

Fighting The Battle!!!

Its a wed morning
and yes
i know i know
5 days are all i left
been having headaches these past few days
hope someone can give me a full body massage
I need to study...
but there are so many things to study
i don't know where to start
i'm almost done with lit and sci,just left with humanities..
well, jia you!!!
Jia you people!!!

What i'm dying to say is that i'm crazy for you,touch me once and you know its true..
i never wanted anyone like this,its all brand new..i'm crazy for you=)

Y UPDATES Y

Sunday, September 02, 2007

9:29 AM

Its All Brand New...

Well well well,
its a sunday morning
i should be at tuition now
but i couldnt wake up in time
prelims are like in one week time
i'm really gonna chiong
chiong ah!!!
but i might be going to watch movie with him on wed,
maybe we should just stay at home..
well,life is funny
it is
i feel like a totall changed person
never really chiong before except for ns la...
but i dun care
i must make everyone proud of me
he once told me,
"when you study,you don't do it for me,"
"you do it for yourself,Cassandra Teresa Dias!!"
well,ya..so i'm doing it for myself=)
i'm feeling a little bloated
all my clothes are getting tight
hais...
oh well
i miss him
though i met him last friday only but..
its just you know..
I really didnt expect this day to come...
oh well,
people, chiong ah!!!

Isnt it the best part of waking up to find someone else you can't get enough of,someone who wants to be with you too,wouldn't it be beautiful?