And somethings telling me it might be you all of my life..

PLEASE READ THESE TERMS:

[#o1] Welcome to my blog
[#o2] Do not rip anything off
[#o3] Live like you will die tomorrow
[#o4] Love like you have never been hurt before
[#o5] Follow your heart
[#o6] And remember to live life to the fullest
[#o7] Always be happy
[#o8] Follow all of the above cause Sandra says so

It Might Be You - Stephen Bishop

I am Cassandra Teresa Dias,

Another turning point - a fork stuck in the road
Time grabs you by the wrist - directs you where to go
So make the best of this test and don't ask why
It's not a question but a lesson learned in time
So take the photographs and still frames in your mind
Hang it on a shelf in good health and good time
Tattoos of memories and dead skin on trial
For what it's worth it was worth all the while
It's something unpredictable but in the end is right
I hope you had the time of your life
When our time is up,
when our lives are done,
will we say we've had our fun?
will we make a mark this time?
will we always say we tried?
all the love i have made,
i have no regrets,
it it all ends now,
i'm set...

I have no regrets

:D

myspace/hi5/friendster/msn
at askme@hotmail.com

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Saturday, November 18, 2006

10:05 PM

Hatred And Misery Kill Us All.....

Yup..just finish eating my steamboat...you must be thinking why i sound so sian,even Rosanne felt it..yes..i am sian, very sian!! I feel so sick.i puked out all my steamboat stuff..the world is so unfair,just received a phone call from Noor just now,she ask me to work full shift tomorrow and obviously i told her no!! for god's sake" i wanna take off tomorrow also cause my stomach is churning,throat's suffocating.." but i never told her anything..i just said no..will she believe me if i told her that i was sick also? i don't know...what is right? what is wrong? who should i believe? i'm confused...i feel physically sick and mentally drain...my whole life now only revolve around my job...today when Rosanna and my gang asked me when i could go out with them..i was speechless..i mean i'm crying out for god's sake..all i gave them was a " i don't know" i feel so so tired suddenly..money is my motivation...but there are other things i want too..time? i need time...yet i need money..are humans always that greedy? didn't i thought i learn the art of contentment? i guess i didnt after so long...my head's spinning...brain's not thinking...or should i say it has never stopped thinking?? i don't know..i'm sick and the whole world's like asking me to sleep but i can't sleep....do i sound unhappy? do i sound sick? will you tell me please cause i really don't know...guess the people around me is not only busy..i was wrong..the one who's real busy is me..me me me...everything slapped on me..i feel like a sinner..because of money..i missed church this weekend..i feel so guilty..oh..then today Huiling delivered food to me..and then she left..i was thinking yes its the thought that counts..but all i wanted was to spend some time with her..she agreed initially though she didnt promise me anything then later she said she could not... but she left me hanging...why do people always back out and tell me sorry..to tell you the truth..the word i hate to hear is the word sorry...since you know it will hurt a person then why still do it?..guess it doesn't matter anymore cause i'm so used to people repeatedly telling me sorry...i realise i can't seem to give people answers nowadays...i know i'm not an angel also..but i tried my best in pleasing everyone...can't you see? if only i could puke out all my unhappiness also..but i can't..no one seems to be listening..everyone seems to be dead or should i say i'm the one who's dead? i don't know, i really don't know....Ya..sandra is unhappy but does anyone care? the answer is a straight no to my face...sad right? i keep questioning myself whether i should be a loner or i guess being anti-social is better for me..i'm scared of being alone yet scared of being too close to people cause they always disappoint me..I promise that I'm not fucking okay today..do you even care? guess no one knows i'm bleeding inside...no one gives a fuck!!